The Cycle of Violence
Domestic and family violence often follows a repeating pattern. This cycle explains why victims may remain in abusive relationships and how behaviour escalates over time. Understanding the cycle can help people recognise patterns of abuse and take steps toward safety.
The Cycle of Violence Wheel
The Cycle of Violence Wheel shows the repeating stages of tension, abuse, reconciliation, and calm that many victims report.
Phases of the Cycle:
- Tension Building – Stress and conflict increase. Victims may feel like they are “walking on eggshells.”
- Incident / Explosion – Abuse occurs, whether physical, emotional, sexual, or financial.
- Honeymoon Phase – The abuser may apologise, promise change, or offer gifts.
- Calm – A temporary pause before tension begins to build again.
The Equality (Non-Violence) Wheel
While the Cycle of Violence explains how abuse repeats, the Equality Wheel highlights what safe, respectful relationships look like.
Core elements of equality and non-violence include:
- Respect – Listening, valuing opinions, and sharing decisions.
- Trust and Support – Encouraging growth and independence.
- Honesty and Accountability – Taking responsibility for actions.
- Shared Responsibility – Making decisions together, sharing childcare and household duties.
- Economic Partnership – Fairly managing finances and resources.
- Non-Threatening Behaviour – Creating a safe and supportive environment.
Why This Matters
The Cycle of Violence helps explain why abuse often continues despite promises of change. The Equality Wheel reminds us that abuse is not “normal conflict” Safe relationships are built on equality, respect, and shared responsibility.
